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Mothers Are Muses

In honor of mother’s day, a collection of poems rejected by hallmark. Lifelong Lessons – written by a germaphobic son You always told me to wash-up so I wouldn’t catch disease. I made this a habit and did as you pleased. Thank god I stopped playing in the sun and the sand Or I’d have [...]

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Whole Flew’d Over the Cuckoo’s Nest

Portland, Maine — Whole Foods is taking grocery shopping to new heights. In a move deemed by local shoppers as “unfounded” and “wholey unnecessary (pun intended), Whole Foods has pulled the ultimate business combo deal — by becoming an airport and grocery store. This growing trend in combo business is known as a “grocport” (pronounced gross-port). [...]

PHANTOM TOLLBOOTH MAP

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Dr. Mat Ernal – Minor Injuries Specialist

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Jorts Illustrated

“Go get’em with less denim.”

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